Assessing these past weeks

Initially I assessed myself on a scale form 1-10 in the areas of Spiritual, Physical, and Mentally 1being the lowest and 10 being highest this is how I assessed my results.  
spiritual = 8
 Physical = 6.5
 Mental = 3
And now within 7 weeks reevaluating these areas in my life still based on a 1-10scale  this is how I assessed myself. 

Spiritually=6 

Physically= 8

Mental= 5

I have gone down spiritually but this is always going to be a struggle for me. I have developed more tho in both physical and mental wellness. These are very important for me because before this class my life was very chaotic and stressful. It was also a huge deal for me to really know how to prioritize my life for me not for anyone else. I'm excited that my life is improving by implementing the integral  practices in my life. I will keep developing and evolving my life through new goals geared to making my life better.  I have stated what I am going to do in my last post but a huge goal for me is too keep these goals up for me too look at everyday to remind me of how great my life is,can, and will be if I keep implementing these goals daily.  I will post new goals as I make new goals for myself and I hope to go far with these practices as I start my new way of life. And I hope to share my new beginnings with all of you as they emerge. Thanks to all who have supported me through these new developments, I consider you close friends even though we've never met. Thanks again to everyone who has shared their lives, experiences, advice, with me, your kindness and your caring is held dear to me. Stay close too me. 

Rox 

Final Project Assessment

1. Introduction: The process of development in all aspects related to psychology, spiritually, and physically as a health and wellness professional is extremely important because if I intent to help and serve others in the ways of human flourishing, than I myself need to develop these areas so that I may evolve within myself and flourish to newer, deeper levels of consciousness. I need to keep my inner and outer vessel sharp and healthy because the journey within the self is always changing nothing can ever stay the same so to grow I must practice each aspect individually. I must not neglect anyone area because it's easier or harder than the rest, each area will take equal dedication and devotion. I will learn to listen to each area through the development process and I will learn to respect each are, then I will learn to let go when the area has reached a certain limitation. Through this cycle I will continue to learn, develop, and evolve everyday, this is a never ending cycle one will never reach completeness, since the world is ever changing so are our minds and the journey will continue even after I am no longer here. All three areas bring different goals because different aspects of life are taught/learned through them, they are all interconnected and this is why each individual area is considered equal as well as important.
2. Assessment: Each domain can be assessed on a scale from 1-10. 1=lowest and 10=highest possible rank each area can receive. I have taken into consideration what I do for each domain and how I try to develop them daily if I do at all. This is how I ranked each:
   Physically: 8, because I am conscious of how important physical fitness and nutrition are to me. I am a certified instructor so I work on my fitness daily, but I am also aware of my body when it's is in pain when I have pushed myself to the limit and I know when to listen and back off to avoid any further damage or pain to my body. I need my body to work for me for work for play and for everyday that's why I have to work for my body. I have altered my diet to be a healthier one for me. I am an ovo-vegetarian which means the only animal product I consume are eggs. I also try and eat mostly raw fruits and vegetables as well as Organically grow produce. I need to make the commitment to go all whole foods so that I can eliminate all processed foods to get back to a healthier, natural diet and holistic way of living. I also meditate weekly.
   Spiritually: 6, I work on this daily but it is a struggle. I do not go to church but that is because I do not associate with a specific denomination or religion. This does not mean that spirituality is attained solely through a church, a church is just a structure the community which I seek to support and to congregate with so that I can be challenged is where I falter in this domain. I have a mentor who pushes me to seek to challenge and to explore the greatness I have to offer people, He is only one man he can only push me so far so here I have to take those leaps and trust myself that all I will do is for good, is for others. This is how I will improve my spiritual side.
   Psychologically: 5, In this domain I need to go further, I need to understand certain things of the why, the how, and what, within me before I can proceed. With the other two aspect of development I already know what I must to do to evoke or start the process, but here I don't that's why this will take a little longer for me in my daily journey. I can listen well to others but for me to develop that strong sense of me I need to be able to let go of all expectations;. Here I need to learn how to let people in and to trust those who want to help me along the way. I need to learn how to let someone love me because through all things love is always present but when I exclude this vital role then I hinder any progression of development.
   
   
   
   
3. Goal development: There will always be goals and once they are achieved new ones For now this is what I will set for myself and hold myself accountable for:
   Physical: Daily meditation and yoga. This is so I can connect the mind and body eventually effortlessly. I will eat better everywhere even when I am not in a controlled environment where I can make these decisions.
   Psychological: To be mindful of myself and of others, and of the choices that affect me as well as the well being of others. I will be consciously aware of my actions and thoughts because they directly effect me but can permeate and passively effect others.
   Spiritually: I will think with a purpose that is selfless. I will work harder for others even when I know there is no physical or materialistic reward.
   
   
4. Practices for personal health:
   Physical: I will practice yoga and meditate before I do anything in the morning and when I am done for the day. I will buy foods that provides the best nourishment for me and If I am in a place where I wouldn't normally eat the foods provided I will stick to my convictions without any huge fuss.
   Psychologically: I will hold my temper and my tongue I will give people the benefit of the doubt and trust their better judgment, if it does not cause me harm or ill will. I will smile more, I will also volunteer more in a setting that takes me out of my comfort level.
   Spiritually: I will write my thoughts and feeling, I will acknowledge them as true and I will work on them so they benefit myself and those around me. I will also give without expecting a return.
   
   
5. Commitment: I will write my goals out on paper, I will hang them on my wall next to my bed so that every morning I get up I am aware of my goals and the commitment I am making to myself. I will evaluate each day by taking into consideration the goal for the day and how it was attained or implemented the day before. If will seek new ways to actively achieve each goal I have set for myself so that I am exploring every option and opportunity. I will ask people for help who I know can benefit my personal flourishing in either one aspect or all. I will be a better person because of this and I will share with others.
   
   

Choosing

I have to say the more recent blog post are ones I find to be the most beneficial. They were the Meeting Asciepius in unit 7 and the loving Kindness in unit 6 and Subtle Mind in unit 5.  They all unraveled different parts of me, and because of that I have to honor, and love each one because they were a part of me and they dealt with the realness I live, I acknowledge, I witness, and I try to recreate daily. These practices revealed anger, distrust, control, punishing, issues I struggle with but they also reveal the potential I have the passion I've forgotten, the love for all, and the fragile and vulnerability parts I protect.  All these practices brought different revelations because they were implemented in different stages of my life. Within the past 3 weeks my life has taken a change for the better and I know that I will have my bad days and I will have days were I wish someone could see me and my struggles and there will be days were I see everyone and everything interwoven like a beautiful spiderweb and it will make sense how strong we are as one and how our individuality should not set us apart but be seen as a missing piece to the puzzle the creator is trying to piece together.  I will continue to use these visualization practices and conscious awareness tools not just when I need them but even when I feel everything is right an complete order and alignment. This is because I need to exploring further even when I think everything is right and as it needs to be there is always something more to accept to acknowledge to store and to let go so it can just be.  I hope to take these exercises to my clients when I go back to teaching and sharing my yoga practice.   

While, "Meeting Asciepius" he said... "One cannot lead another where one has not gone himself”

I envisioned my father in this exercise, because even though I'm not his favorite daughter I understand everything he is about, all he stands for, all he lives for, and all he wants to die for.  I share the same connection he does between the outside world and us looking in.   I am my mothers daughter, I am my mother favorite and my sister is the apple in my fathers eyes but my mother can never understand the way I see things and why I do them like my father could.  The things I do I don't need to explain to my father he understands, and he gets its it on a different plane or realm of reality, my mother questions why, she thinks I have alternative motives, she sees and interprets things in a 2 dementional world. So when I did this exercise I kept my father in mind, he gave me reassurance, and strength in my decisions.  I recently decided to do something very big, I cut up my paid off all my debt and cancelled my credit card. I do not need it since I own a home and property in my name, I don't need credit anymore at least in this point in my life and I am about to engage in other decisions that will flip my life around and all the while my father was there smiling, saying nothing but just being, and I knew it was right. He didn't have to say a word for me too know that my decisions where not in vein but for my steps towards healing and growing. I did not lead my father into my decisions he lead me into peace and he lead me into reassurance, he lead me into  love, he lead me into acceptance, he lead me into truth, he lead me into seeking the potential hiding in me.   I now can lead those who want to follow because I have seen it I have felt it I have experienced it.  I may lose it one day maybe in the near future if I stop working through these great attributes and noble pursuits, so I know it can not last in this manner forever that's why I have to keep reinventing, re-energizing and re developing my true inner self constantly.  If I can not do this I can not show anyone else because it would be a lie, and my intentions would not be true to anyone so therefore my spiritual flourishing as well as psychological and mental flourishing would cease to grow and I so I would cease to exist fully.      

Freeing m suffering

I struggle daily to free my sufferings. I struggle to not punish myself, I struggle with the idea of freedom, I struggle in this world, I am a tortured  soul, I hate that I feel so much for humanity, and I hate that I can't change the world because I can't let myself go... . I can't say that when I chanted this passage i felt at ease and that everything is going to be OK with me but I have to try. I have to change my destructive nature and I can not let my darkness and shadows chase me forever, if I let that happen I will give up eventually and I will be lost forever.  I wish I could end suffering from detaching myself from all the world but then why would I have such a gift to feel so much if I was meant to not live through it?  I don't get it sometimes I don't get why I see and why I feel certain things so clearly and so naturally but I don't know how to use it for good and how to help people. I wish I did I wish I knew how to channel all this energy, love, and wisdom I have into a greater good, so that one day when I can rest I won't meet the creator or the spiritual being that gave me these gifts and have him laugh in my face because I didn't use my gifts to the fullest advantage and I help no one.  That is a huge fear for me so this exercise did not bring my ease, it did not bring me comfort, it brought me stress and fear. The fear of failure, the fear of disappointment, the fear of rejection of myself.  I fear the same fears but I still share the same dream to serve and to unite, so I hope my mind can rest one day and see the needless suffering cease. I hope to be a healer one day but first I must learn to trust and to be.

Subtle Mind

This exercise is much less complicated to do and the past 2 but sometimes this can be the most difficult.  How often do you think we calm the mind and think of absolutely nothing without trying? Not very often unless in a setting which is calling us to do so, why is this so hard for us to practice naturally?  Is it just because we are not conditioned to let go? Is it because we become so detached from our nurturing and relaxed state we fear the silence the realization of what we have become and how we let ourselves get here... ?  I can do this practice simply because I have been trained to do this since I was 18 years old but its never easy to submit and surrender control of the mind and body to just let be.  I feel in time I will be able to do this while riding a bus, while eating dinner, while shopping, even while sleeping and I'm sure it never will be easy for me but I hope that one day after I'm done meditating and letting my mind fall into a bliss of nothing I will learn how to live in the calmness of the conscious mind  as well.    

Loving Kindness

I have to say I didn't like this audio CD because of the laud static noise in between track 1 then 2. It does disrupt the concentration of the mind the physical and the body connection. I lost this mental image of each and how to further my experience between tracks. There was just most much going on that I could not see this benefiting me at the time and I wouldn't really recommend this to others initially. But after being aware of the concept and how to integrate the practice of loving kindness I tried it on my own without people talking me through this journey. I talked myself through this practice and I focused myself and my good intentions and energy out to myself, to specific individuals and I have to say I felt a great sense of love and understanding. I felt good about what I was trying to accomplish. I knew that I was trying to get a sense of knowing that everything is to be alright and I achieved that by sending out loving thoughts as well as  prayers.  I do recommend that those who need reassurance, who need to know something more, something they can't understand or are struggling to understand try this exercise and although all the mysteries of the WHY will not be unveiled a great relief and a beginning of understanding can start, if we choose to acknowledge it.  Some may find this overwhelming so I suggest trying this with someone well trusted, and one who will not judge or laugh at your intentions but can honor them and also be able to help with the struggles. It's hard to ask people for help, I understand that most of all but I have finally found someone I can trust enough to let myself go around, and to be able to share true self with, without with holding anything and that person gets me through the bad days. But that person can also recognize my good days and praise them with me. I recommend this unity, this community practice when we can't bare to see it alone.    

My intentions now and hopefully for tomorrow

To rate the three areas of physical, spiritual, and mental wellbeing in my life on a scale from 1-10 is a bit hard because each vary daily. They are never constant! If I were always tipping the scale one way or the other or just straddling the fence constantly then I would be terrible unbalanced and boring even predictable.  While I may be unbalanced more often that usual I am not boring nor predictable that's why I get off balance. I get to wild with ideas at times and if I don't stop to think about how to successfully execute those ideas, plans or dreams then I can get very off balance and sometimes I will suffer the prosecution of  too much happiness with too much loneliness, because too much of one thing is not all ways good because it won't last and that fall is hard if I don't understand the in between I can get lost.  But if we are scaling these three aspects of my being right now I would have to say spiritual = 8, Physical = 6.5, Mental = 3. I have certainly been lower on the scale or spectrum in all three areas and I've certainly been much higher on the scale with all three. But I do struggle with my mental well being more  than the others areas. To improve each I will incorporate some goals that will hopefully elevate these numbers on that scale. This in itself would be a goal for me, it is a positive notion for me to try and to reach this within a week even a month will be a huge accomplishment. I see the little things and the details which are most beautiful and most rewarding, so to say I want to help myself and by helping myself I will improve my life and hopefully the lives and atmosphere around me is something pretty awesome for me and about me.  For the spirit in me I will set it free with dance, I will set it free when i'm in public and private by smiling, by laughing, by sending positive intentions out, by seeing the light all around and breaking that dark.  For the physical I am starting up a new workout regiment to train for a couple of races I have signed up this year, and I really hate showing up to a race unprepared.  So I am running daily, and working out with dance and weights, oh and my trusting bike!  For the mental state well that's a tough one for me but the best I can do is listen to my inner being, my gut feeling, my intuition and accept willingly with no struggle.  I will send as many positive thoughts out to everyone I know and love even for those I don't know but who will someday be intertwined in my life I will send out great intentions so there choices are strong and for the good of all, and that we will meet under good intentions and circumstances.  This is the best me I can try to be for now, and when I time comes that the number get higher then i will make more goals but if I reach these goals they won't be forgotten not now, not then and certainly not during all the while.

Crime of the Century

First off I was confused by the title in relation to the audio exercise. This audio relaxation exercise dealt with Chakras and the colors that represent those chakras, and where they lay in our bodies and what they mean. I am very aware of the 7 primary chakras of the body and the 21 secondary chakras.   When I meditate, I do so sometimes in colors which may represent the chakra or region of my body that I need to focus on because of an illness or distress.  I can not always see the energy and colors but when I fall deep into such a meditative state I can picture everything the narration was explaining.  This time during the audio exercises the images of colors came to me differently than when I usually meditate.  It wasn't as personal as I can usually make them out to be.  But it was still a great exercise to go through. I can say that  during this journey of relaxation I did indeed relax, and when I woke up I felt light headed. It was almost as if I hadn't been getting enough sleep and my body was going into that sleep state while being conscious.  I know my body and what all this means because I've been meditating for a long time now that I can recognize when my body is lacking certain things and, my mind was trying to relax as intended but it was also trying to compensate for my body not getting rest lately.  I really did enjoy this relaxation exercise I will try it again at some point this week to see if I see different images.

Relaxation via audio make me giggle

I was listening to the Audio CD by author Elliot Dacher, also narration with Harriet Cianci, sections of Subtle mind practices as well as Loving kindness In The Path to Human Flourishing and I couldn't help but giggle at the end of them.  First off like most people I can not relax to a strangers voice no matter how soothing it is, which Mrs. Cianci has I could not fall into that same meditative state or aware conscious state of relaxation with a water fall and flutes coming from my CD player.  I also was interrupted with a startle at the end of each section when it cuts to laud white noise... someone in the editing department doesn't understand continuous flow and transition and needs to take a meditation class or attend a real seminar which one of these relaxation classes are given so that he/she may understand the goal of falling into a relaxation state and coming out of one uninterrupted.    Don't confuse my demeanor as upset but more confused, I mean I got a kick out of the irony but why would anyone who is trying to reach a state of relaxation or go to the happy place where everything dissolves into beautiful landscapes and childhood familiarity want to be abruptly snatched away from that?  Yea that was a precursor of anticipation for the next relaxation exercise, I didn't really relax the way the audio tapes wanted me too relax instead I couldn't stop giggling, but in my way it achieved a different type of relaxation mode.  To me when I haven't laughed in a long time and can find ways to achieve this I'll just pop in the CD and get my results, laughing is a great medicine not one I was expecting here but all the while I learned something... send a letter to the editor, and when I want to give these exercises another go, I'll ditch the tapes and find a real relaxation class where I can feel the energy from human to human.